CUNT: “It does feel weird to do something out of the ordinary when you know every face around”

What is your background, how did you get into nightlife?

Ksenia: I think for me it all started with Kave since I was helping out back then, and through people there I got to Grid where I was bartending, and that’s when I like really got into organizing events.

Liliana: It is kind of the same thing for me. I moved to Prague right during the pandemic and went out to Ankali on pride weekend. I met all the drag queens and they took me out to Kave where I made connections that led me to work with Nūr. From there I started most of my work in the nightlife. It’s sad and also fun to say but I’m pretty much at the club every weekend and I have been for the last three years.

And what is something that like really struck you in Prague nightlife? When you compare it to other cities, is there perhaps something special about it?

Ksenia: It’s very accessible. There is not this unreasonable wall that you have to climb somehow to get into it. It’s open for everyone, whatever you do. If you’re an artist, musician, creator of any sorts you can find a collective that would be happy to work with you, and through that you can find a way in. That’s very special because we’re very close, we know each other. The community is small and that really helps it to thrive. That’s what makes Prague super special for me.

Liliana: For me it’s kind of the same lines, it’s the community. I am from the U.S., from a very religious place so coming here and seeing how very queer the scene is, was very nice. But it’s mostly like you’re friends with everyone.

Have you ever felt that because the community is so tight and small, and everybody knows each other, that it may be more difficult for people to really explore themselves and experiment? Because they feel like they can’t really do something quirky, because everybody knows them and it will be talked about?

Ksenia: We actually felt like this and that’s why CUNT is happening. We want to give this space for people to be able to explore and experiment without having the pressure and danger of all of the eyes being around, and at the same time we want to show them it’s okay to explore. Otherwise yeah, it does feel weird to do something out of the ordinary when you know every face around.

Other than that, how did the event come together?

Ksenia: I wanted to host some kind of sex-positive or sensual party for the longest time because I believe in the importance of sex positivity and education, especially within our queer community. Our nightlife is closely connected to our sex lives, so creating an event like this felt natural. The concept truly began to take shape once I became involved in the nightlife scene and started discussing with Lilia what we felt was missing and what made us uncomfortable. The idea evolved from just a sex party into something more specific and inclusive.

Liliana: Ksenia definitely brought the sex-positive angle to the idea. As women in the nightlife scene we noticed that many spaces are dominated by men, and we aren’t given the same platform. It’s crucial for us to create a safe space for women to explore and to showcase their talents. Everyone working with us, from security to DJs and other talents, will be women or individuals we trust to create a safe and inclusive atmosphere.

Our mission statement emphasizes a personal connection to womanhood. We’re not trying to define womanhood; rather, it’s about the personal feeling and connection to it. We include non-binary individuals who face similar struggles as women, such as dealing with periods or the wage gap. It’s important for us to be inclusive, but our goal isn’t to exclude anyone. It’s about creating a space where people feel connected and safe.

And how does womanhood look like to you personally, and how does it feel?

Ksenia: For me, womanhood means safety. Primarily, it’s about safety and support. It’s an unspoken connection I feel, not just with those who identify as women, but with this broader concept of womanhood. It’s a support system I know I can rely on whenever I need help. Safety is the most crucial aspect for me.

Liliana: For me, womanhood signifies power. I grew up surrounded by empowering women, and my life has been centered around showcasing what we, as women, can achieve. Womanhood is about proving that we can do anything anyone else can. Additionally, there’s a strong sense of community and safety. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need help, you can always approach a woman, and they’ll be more than happy to assist you. For example, in a nightclub, if you walk into the bathroom and need a tampon, every woman there will reach into their bag to give you one. It’s this unspoken bond that connects us.

So how does a female play party look like? What’s exactly the concept? There will be a playroom, I saw. How does this playroom look to someone who’s never been to a party like this?

Ksenia: We wanted to approach it softly and gently, which is why we’re not calling ourselves a sex party but a play party. We want to give a space to explore, where you can feel safe. If you want to go further and get more frisky, there’s a dark room where you can go. But if you want to be sensual and explore things like shibari, temperature play, or sensory play, you can do that too. Another thing I strongly believe is that one of the ways to explore and know your body is dance. This is why we’re going to have sexier music in the playroom curated by our incredible Ella and Monika, and the main dance floor in Planeta Za will be for more fun and expressive elements where you can just be yourself.

Liliana: For people who may not be ready to play fully, there’s also cuddling and just having a space for intimacy. However intimacy may look to you, there’s a space for that, very open and with no judgment. Whatever you may want to do, you can do it in this little beautiful playroom of ours.

There is a lack of spaces for queer women worldwide. Do you feel like sex parties or queer parties in general are not accessible enough for queer women and female-identifying people?

Liliana: I think that’s a big part of it. We sat down and, honestly, a lot of it came not from anger but from frustration over what we were missing, and what wasn’t accessible to us as women, what men – especially queer men – might have. We sat down and said, „Okay, let’s create a safe space that’s clean for women to do what they want,“ and also focus on education. Our goal is to have women, and it’s not just a queer party, but a party for women, to come and explore their sexuality. Most queer spaces in Prague are not aimed at women. Inclusivity often leaves out women, so it was important for us to create a space tailored to what we felt was missing.

So, when it comes to what a party like this can offer to females that a regular queer party or queer sex party can’t, you mentioned cleanliness. Are there other aspects?

Ksenia: I think it’s a lot softer and more focused on sensuality. Before realizing we needed this, I went to a few sex parties here, and to me, it’s very much from zero to 100 right away. You walk through the door, and it’s instantly whips and ropes. There’s no space for foreplay, which is the most important part.

Sensuality and foreplay are what’s missing in those sex parties, so we wanted to focus on that and create a space specifically for it. It’s a nice introduction for people who might want to attend more intense events but don’t know how or what it entails, or for those who’ve never been to such events and are scared or unsure how they’ll feel when they see naked bodies. This is something softer and easier to explore.

When it comes to these new people, how do you avoid gatekeeping while still protecting your community? What’s the best way to introduce new people to the scene or party? Is it to create those spaces that are in-between?

Ksenia: I think so. We’ve faced the challenge of people trying to categorize us—are we FLINTA, are we queer, what’s happening? We’re trying to create a new kind of community. We’re open to people, which is why we have our policy: if you don’t have a personal connection to womanhood, you need someone to vouch for you at the door. That’s the main way we control our community and the crowd.

Additionally, word of mouth plays a crucial role. We know a lot of women and are friends with many women, and there’s been a lot of discussion about what’s missing. We’ve taken the time to sit down with women we know and ask them what they feel is missing, what they’d like to see more of, and how we can create something they would enjoy.

Is there something that needs to be specially curated for a dark room in an event like this? You also talked about hygiene being a concern for many women since dark rooms are often filthy and club bathrooms sometimes lack basic amenities like soap.

Ksenia: Yes, hygiene is a significant concern. Our dark room will be curated to ensure it’s clean and welcoming. We want it to be a space where women feel comfortable and safe. This includes ensuring that there are basic amenities like soap and making sure the space is clean and maintained throughout the event. It’s about creating an environment where everyone can feel at ease and focus on enjoying themselves and not think about yeast infection. This is one of the things that triggered us the most because we went to a couple of events where you were expected to sit on a dirty couch, and it’s unacceptable. That’s a quick way to get a yeast infection. So, simple things like having little pads or covers, wet wipes, and dental dams for oral activities are important. Not everyone will use them, but it’s essential to have them available to offer safety and inclusivity.

Do you feel prejudice against female-identifying people within the scene, or is the scene in Prague more accepting?

Liliana: I think there’s quite a lot of prejudice. I don’t present very femininely in the way I dress, which makes it tricky. Some people might feel threatened by the idea of our event, and it can be a bit scary for them. Right now, we’re facing some prejudice, but I think once the event happens, people will see that we’re not trying to take space away from anyone—we’re just trying to add more space. For example, another collective is hosting a similar event on the same night as us. We’re happy to see more spaces available for people who might not feel comfortable coming to our event. There’s competition, but it’s not coming from a bad place.

Ksenia: Regarding prejudice, I work as a bartender and have been for 10 years. The bar scene is very male-dominated, with some famous bars in Prague not having a single female bartender, which frustrates me. There’s often talk that a woman can’t be a bar manager in a club because she won’t be able to lift or carry things or keep everything under control. But we’re proving that’s wrong. For our last NŪR anniversary, I managed the bar with only women helping me, and we did perfectly fine. You have to fight these prejudices, be proactive, and show that we have our opinions and views. If they won’t create a space for us, or allow us into their space, we’ll create our own.

Who was your first pick when it came to the artist selection?

Ksenia: We had so many. Theo was the first one. We’re quite close with Theo and we know she plays sex parties. Mainly Theo and Monika were our first choices. We also want to spotlight a lot of local women. Knowing they both played at sex parties and are familiar with how it goes, they were comfortable with it.

What is your ick at the party?

Liliana: Half-naked men. Yeah, it’s so gross, and stinky. Another ick is when people don’t wear deodorant. Please, put deodorant on before you go to the club, and bring it with you. There’s no shame in that. That’s my big ick.

How does CUNT sound?

Liliana: Wow, how do we explain this? We’re aiming for a dirty, bassy, grimy UK style, but also want to keep it fun. Our playroom will be very light, playful, and sexy, whereas the main area will be more about getting wild and having the most fun. We have a mix of different sounds to cater to different vibes.

Alright, so no straight boys techno?

Both: No, never.

First ever CUNT takes place on June 29, 2024.
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